“After President Trump gave his State of the Union address, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi tore it in half. Tore in half! Crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Then Melania said, ‘Great, now do my prenup.’” —Conan O’Brien
“I will say, I didn’t like that. I think tearing up the speech was a bad move. Pelosi should have rolled it up and spanked him with it.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Needless to say, Mike Pence was very upset by this act of defiance against Master. He described it as a new low. I guess he forgot about the time his boss invited the Taliban to Camp David.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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