“That’s right: Today, Mitt Romney bravely stood up and said, ‘I cannot handle another dinner with this [expletive].’” —Samantha Bee
“Romney was actually choking back tears as he explained his decision because — well, because he knows the president is about to order the space force to attack his home state of Utah.” —Jimmy Kimmel
“Romney’s decision took a lot of grit, nerve and guts. Incidentally, ‘Grit,’ ‘Nerve’ and 'Guts’ are the names of some of Mitt Romney’s sons.” —Jimmy Fallon
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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