"Friday the news broke: a stash of pornography was found inside Osama bin Laden’s compound. Even before Navy SEALs shot out his eyes, bin Laden was probably going blind anyway." –Jon Stewart
"President Obama's approval rating, which got a bump after killing bin Laden, has slipped again. Which is really bad news — not for the president, for Moammar Gaddafi." –Jay Leno
"You know what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Meg Whitman have in common? They both got in trouble for stiffing the maid." –Jay Leno
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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