Iranians have vowed to retaliate for the killing of a top Iranian commander, Maj. Gen. Qassim Suleimani. Trump has promised more attacks if they do, claiming to have a list of 52 potential targets — one for each of the American hostages held by Iran during President Jimmy Carter’s administration. He also said some of the targets would be cultural sites, which would violate international law. He’s still mad about the Iranian hostage crisis? What’s next on his 1980s agenda? [As Trump] ‘I’m also targeting four top Iranian generals, one for each of the “Three Men and a Baby”; six different regions, one for each side of the Rubik’s Cube; and I have officially changed the launch codes to 867-5309.’” —Stephen Colbert
“O.K., here’s the deal: Bombing Iranian cultural sites could be a war crime. [As Trump] ‘What do you mean ‘could be a war crime’? What do I have to do around here? Kick the Sphinx? Urinate on a terra cotta soldier? Because I’ve already done one of those things — and the other one.’” —Stephen Colbert
“So here’s how it went down — Trump’s advisers went to Mar-a-Lago and military officials put the option of killing Suleimani — which they viewed as the most extreme response — on the menu they presented President Trump. They didn’t think he’d do it — they tacked on the choice of targeting General Suleimani to make other options seem reasonable. O.K., quick note to the generals: The only way Trump isn’t going to order something on a menu is if it comes with vegetables.” —Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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