Oh, you mean 0.15 Iraq Wars? (I don't need another step between me and toast)

Dogs are forever in the push-up position. --Mitch Hedberg

Advil has a candy coating, it's delicious. It says right on the bottle do not have more than two. Well then do not put a candy coating around it. --Mitch Hedberg

I find that a ducks opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. --Mitch Hedberg

Pepperidge Farm bread is some fine bread. That stuff is fancy man. It's wrapped twice. You open it and it still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast. --Mitch Hedberg

I like escalators, because the escalator cannot break. It just becomes stairs. --Mitch Hedberg

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”