Are you sure you're not one of my kids? (a normal human name?)

"The Senate voted to allow gay soldiers to serve in the military. This is good news for gay soldiers, but bad news for straight soldiers who were going to say they were gay to get out of the Army." –Conan O'Brien

"Last night on 'Sarah Palin's Alaska,' the Palins went white water rafting with a guide named Mudflap. It was such an odd name Sarah Palin asked, "Are you sure you're not one of my kids?" –Jimmy Fallon

"Levi Johnston reportedly has a new girlfriend in Alaska named Sunny Oglesby. Which raises an interesting question: Is there anyone in Alaska with a normal human name?" –Jimmy Fallon 

"President Obama said he walks his dog Bo on the White House lawn, but sometimes he has to scoop up Bo's poop. They probably should find someone else to do that. If there's one thing Obama's not good at, it's cleaning up a mess that was left for him." –Jimmy Fallon 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”