You're the ass-less chaps of winter clothing (it smelled like the fish died eating gingerbread)

Scented candles. Hey, kids, you love the smell of pie but hate the hassle of eating and enjoying it? Try scented candles. Nothing is more disappointing than walking into a kitchen that smells like cookies and finding out it's just a ball of wax. Also, I'm trying to cover up the smell of cooked fish, not make it smell like the fish died eating gingerbread. --Seth Meyers

Luggage carousels! You're not a carousel. Carousels are fun. What you are is a luggage gutter. If I wanted to see something move this slowly, I'd just follow Robert Mueller's Russia investigation. Side burn, Mueller. --Seth Meyers

V-neck sweaters. For the man who thinks -- "This outfit could use a little more visible white undershirt." V-neck sweaters, what are you for? All those times people say, "Gee, my torso and arms are freezing, but my clavicles are roasting." Why are you exposing just my neck? You're the assless chaps of winter clothing. V-neck sweaters, see you neck time. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”