Ronald Reagan came back to life, jumped over a rainbow, and dunked a basketball on him (Frappuccinos for Babies)

Navy officials confirmed this week that 14 sailors from the nuclear-reactor department of the USS Ronald Reagan will face disciplinary action in connection to LSD abuse. One sailor said it was the worst thing to happen to him since Ronald Reagan came back to life, jumped over a rainbow, and dunked a basketball on him. --Seth Meyers

Scientists in China claim they found a way for the military to use the calls of sperm whales to send encoded messages. Said whales, "Then maybe we can change our name to code whales?" --Seth Meyers

And, finally, a coffee chain in London said this week that it will allow stores to refuse caffeine sales to people under the age of 16, while a coffee chain in America just unveiled Frappuccinos for Babies. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”