This, according to a white woman on the phone with police (now partnering with heroin)

Former first lady Michelle Obama attended a Beyoncé and Jay-Z concert yesterday where she danced in the front row with Beyoncé’s mother. This, according to a white woman on the phone with police. --Seth Meyers

Dunkin' Donuts is partnering with Harpoon Brewery to release a coffee-infused beer. Not to be outdone, Four Loko is now partnering with heroin. --Seth Meyers

The website Vice has published a new article profiling items found in the New York's subway systems Lost and Found. The most common thing lost on the subway? An hour and a half. --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”