"Yesterday, the federal government announced a massive plan to bail out a number of banking institutions. One expert said it might cost Americans more than a trillion dollars. To put that in perspective, ten Bill Gates and 35 Oprahs still don't add up to a trillion dollars." --Jimmy Kimmel
A lot of people were skeptical when they heard Trump only weighs 239 pounds. But it actually checks out when you remember that for the weigh-in, Trump took off his clothes and hair. --Jimmy Fallon
Still, they say Trump hopes to drop 10-15 pounds this year. While Melania hopes to drop 239. --Jimmy Fallon
But this morning, Eric Trump went on “Fox & Friends” and passionately defended his father. While at home, the president was like, “Where do I know that guy from...” --Jimmy Fallon
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
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