I think I rented that once (True story!)

The song "12 Days of Christmas." For someone who claims to be my true love, you sure gave me some terrible gifts. In fact, I'm going to have to take these on one by one. 12 drummers drumming. Oh, just what I wanted. 12 hippies in a drum circle. 11 pipers piping. This is Christmas, not a Scottish funeral. 10 lords a-leaping? How about you leap in front of a moving truck? 9 ladies dancing. Let me guess -- too much wine at book club? 8 maids a-milking. I think I rented that once. 7 swans a-swimming. Go duck yourself. 6 geese a-laying. Go flock yourself. 5 golden rings? What am I -- Liberace? 4 calling birds. No one calls anymore. Shoot me a text or F off. 3 French hens. French hens? This is America, pal. We call 'em freedom chickens. 2 turtle doves. Are you a turtle or a dove? Pick one. A partridge in a pear tree? I got a bird for ya right here, buddy. --Seth Meyers

Bethlehem innkeepers. Where do you get off turning away a pregnant woman? You're lucky Yelp wasn't around during the time of the Bible, or you would've been savaged. Also, you sent them to the manger?! Here is a tidbit of common decency. If you run an inn and a woman needs to give birth, maybe do better than the shack where your goats eat. It's disgusting, and that's coming from a guy whose wife gave birth in the lobby of a New York City apartment building. True story! --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”