No hablo inglés (at least that’s what he told his wife when she walked in on them)

"Dick Cheney is back in the news. He's talking about his memoirs. Cheney said that George Bush stopped taking his advice during the second term of their Administration. And in Bush's defense, I think it's pretty natural to lose trust in a guy who shoots his friends in the face." --Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump's recent immigration plan would cost at least $166 billion. When asked how he'd pay for it, Trump was like, "No hablo inglés.” –Jimmy Fallon

A man in the U.K. saved his pet tortoise by giving it mouth-to-mouth resuscitation — at least that’s what he told his wife when she walked in on them. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”