“I saw that because of a huge winter storm, a 50-mile stretch of I-95 in Virginia was shut down, and drivers were stranded on the Interstate for more than 24 hours. The only happy person was the cabdriver whose fare got up to $14 million.” —Jimmy Fallon
“Twenty-four hours in standstill traffic — I’m pretty sure there’s 50 miles of highway just covered in yellow snow.” —Jimmy Fallon
“In fact, Virginia Senator Tim Kaine was one of the commuters trapped on the Interstate, causing him to tweet this: ‘I started my normal 2 hour drive to DC at 1pm yesterday. 19 hours later, I’m still not near the Capitol.’ But his commute wasn’t done. It took him 27 hours to get to work. Twenty-seven hours! The stakes were high too because it only takes 24 hours for anyone to forget who Tim Kaine is.” —James Corden
“There have been over one million new cases of Covid reported in the US on Monday – a record high, though case reporting was delayed because of the holiday weekend. See, it’s not really that bad. It’s like when an exterminator says, ‘don’t worry, a thousand rats didn’t just move into your breakfast nook. It was just one rat, who gave birth over the weekend to a thousand rats.’” —Stephen Colbert
“Certain Republicans continue making idiotic comments about Covid, such as Senator Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, who told a radio show on Monday: ‘Why have we assumed that the body’s natural immune system isn’t the marvel that it really is? Why do we think that we can create something better than God in terms of – in terms of combating disease?’ OK, yes, I get it – God created our immune systems. He also created Ron Johnson, so he has been known to shank it. So he raises the question: does the Lord want you to have the vaccine? I don’t know, but take Ron Johnson’s advice, and you might have a chance to ask God face to face.” —Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html
#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry
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