I don’t want to run for president anymore (Mike Pence’s beer helmet)

“Meanwhile, one senator claims they’re only allowed to drink water and milk on the Senate floor. The only other place you’ll see water and milk is in Mike Pence’s beer helmet.” —Jimmy Fallon

“After each side presents its case, senators then get to ask 16 hours of questions. Sixteen hours of questions — they’re gonna feel like every husband who comes home late with glitter on his suit. Sixteen hours of questions — that’s like your dad getting a new phone at Sprint. Sixteen hours of questions — that’s like every Uber driver I’ve ever had. Sixteen hours of questions — it’s like you just told Planet Fitness you want to cancel your gym membership.” —Jimmy Fallon

A Florida man has been arrested for stealing a $1,500 dog from a pet store and trading it for crack. On the plus side, we finally have an answer to the question: How much is that doggie in the window? –Seth Meyers

Jeb Bush misspoke during a campaign event yesterday and mistakenly called President Obama’s daughter "Malala" instead of Malia. And THEN, when he tried to say Sasha’s name, it came out “I don’t want to run for president anymore.” –Seth Meyers

Yesterday in Iowa, Sarah Palin gave a 20-minute speech to endorse Donald Trump for president, while Trump stood off to the side. Palin described Trump as a great leader, while Trump described being quiet for 20 minutes as the most painful experience of his life. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

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