Experts expect a record number of people not to watch it (funnel it through Trump)

Donald Trump’s charity, the Trump Foundation, is no longer allowed to accept donations in New York. This is really bad news for anyone who thought, "I’d like to make sure my money gets to the people who really need it; I know, I’ll funnel it through Donald Trump." –Conan O’Brien

Supporters of Donald Trump are saying the fact that he lost a billion dollars and then didn’t pay income taxes for 18 years means he is a "genius." They also say three marriages makes him a "feminist," so it kind of works out. –Conan O’Brien

Tomorrow night is the vice-presidential debate between Mike Pence and Tim Kaine. Experts expect a record number of people not to watch it. –Conan O’Brien