"Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with his maid. I can't believe no one knew this was Arnold's son. When he came out of the womb, he snapped his own umbilical cord." -Jimmy Kimmel
"I mostly feel bad for this kid that now has to learn how to spell the name Schwarzenegger." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Maria Shriver had dinner with Oprah the other night, so Arnold is in a lot of trouble. He should start looking into fortified compounds in Abbottabad." -Jimmy Kimmel
"Today is 'National Visit Your Relatives Day!' Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger put it, 'Better make it two days.'" -Jimmy Fallon
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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