This is great news for people who are hot, thirsty, and well into their second trimester (Yeah, I'm drunk)

According to a new report, Uber is developing a technology that would allow its app to determine if users are drunk. The new technology evaluates walking speed, whether the phone is swaying, and if you've made any typos. Now, look. Let's take the mystery out of this, Uber. It's 2:00 a.m., I'm standing outside a bar, and I typed in my destination as Taco Bell. Yeah, I'm drunk. --James Corden

If you're making too many typos on your phone, Uber could determine you're drunk, or, at the very least, the president of the United States. --James Corden

The fast food chain Sonic has introduced a new flavor of its iced slushes. And apparently, they've run out of ideas because this new flavor is Pickle Juice. This is great news for people who are hot, thirsty, and well into their second trimester. --James Corden

Sonic says if this goes well, they're all set to unveil their next exciting flavor, Cabbage Drippings. Sonic claims the new flavor has "a distinctly summer vibe to create new summer memories." Memories like, "Hey! You remember that time I threw up at Sonic?" --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”