President Trump was asked about Oprah running for president, and he said that he would defeat her. But then another guy said, (PUTIN) "Donald, there is only so much I can do for you. I mean, it's OPRAH!" --Jimmy Fallon
Trump invited the press to an immigration meeting at the White House. He let them stick around for about an hour. They said, "This is the longest we've ever stayed here!" And Trump said, "Me, too!" --Jimmy Fallon
Congratulations to Alabama, who overcame a 13-point deficit to win the College Football National Championship! Man, I'm just happy to say the words "Alabama" and "13" and not be talking about Roy Moore. --Jimmy Fallon
A magisterial collection.
An emotional roller coaster.
Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s
Last Night On Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.
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